School uniform of the heart New Dr. Hong

Angry parents cannot raise smiling children


2022-05-28 11:23

Being a parent is a practice in itself,
Control your emotions,
Is what parents can give their children
The noblest education.
To provide a child with
The most expensive school district room,
Why don't you make one for your child
Home with smile and temperature.

There is a public service advertisement "orphanage" in Finland, with the theme of "if children can choose their parents", which tells the scene that a pair of siblings can see the alternative parents through the glass cover before they are taken to choose their adoptive parents.

The parents of the first group seemed to respect each other like guests. They smiled and were very gentle during the communication. The two children could not help bending their lips.

The parents of the second group looked very kind and gentle. The mother also held a glass of fruit juice and tried to pass it to the children. The two children smiled brightly.

The third group of parents looked very cultured. The very gentlemanly father squatted down immediately when he saw the arrival of the children and watched them equally. The two children were also very relaxed and smiled very cute.

In the fourth group, a pair of parents were yelling and blaming each other. The children's faces immediately changed. They were frightened, hiding and sad.

But as a child, he has no choice but to follow the parents home. At the end of the scene, a family of four is walking home. Their parents are still noisy, completely ignoring the existence of the two children. The sun shines in front of them, but the children's expressions are all bleak, completely losing the glory of the beginning. It is not difficult to imagine their future.

Parents and children are actually a kind of mutual mapping.

Parents are the benchmark of children's behavior, and children themselves are also a mirror of parents. In addition to inheritance, they also repeat their parents' characteristics.

If some parents are irritable and often express impatience emotionally, then the child will unconsciously imitate, and it is inevitable that he will be easily impatient when encountering things, or he will be like the weak side, shrinking and timid;

If parents often quarrel over trivial matters and swear words, the children will also be affected and become uneducated;

If the parents are gentle and stable, and calmly deal with problems, the child's temperament will be naturally peaceful, kind and beautiful.

In fact, the implementation of family education is a subtle process. In the growth environment, parents are the objects that children contact most, so what you are, children are what you are.

The writer Long Yingtai once wrote in "take your time, child":

His son Ann's friend Freddy stole from the supermarket. Although Long Yingtai was very anxious when he received the call from the supermarket owner, he did not immediately get angry. After seeing Long Yingtai, Freddy kept saying that Ann told him to steal it because he was afraid.

Long Yingtai's first reaction was not to reprimand and blame as we imagined, but to appease the frightened Freddy and let him perform the process of the theft on site. After learning the whole thing, she sincerely apologized to the supermarket owner and thanked the boss for his kindness and understanding.

Then she faced Freddy, who had calmed down, and asked her friend if Ann had really asked him to steal. Because gentleness brought enough security, Freddy no longer lied. He told Long Yingtai that he had planned all this, and seriously promised not to take other people's things in the future. Under his own calm handling, his son, An'an, also took the initiative to explain the whole thing, and received Long Yingtai's education. He learned that the existence of "accomplice" was also a mistake, and that there were places in the world that could not be visited and things that could not be done.

Parents who do not control their children by their temper can use love to guide their children to face mistakes. If every parent can manage their emotions like this and then educate them, they will not let their children leave mistakes and lose happiness.

On the 4th, a novice father shared his feelings about being a parent, which was forwarded and praised by tens of thousands of netizens. He said: "as a father, I realized that the most important thing for a parent is not to learn to change diapers or work harder. The most important thing is to deal with his emotions and bring his emotions to his children. He is definitely not a good father."

So as parents, how can they quickly adjust their emotions in the hard social environment and not bring their bad temper home?

In addition to daily work, parents also have family affairs to deal with, which will inevitably lead to pressure accumulation, and finally the emotional outbreak will hurt the innocent.

So the busier you are, the more important it is to cultivate your own hobbies, such as reading or sports, so that you can find a way to relax. With a good mood, the family atmosphere will be naturally harmonious, and eventually a virtuous circle will be formed.

Each child has its own characteristics, and the development level of different children is different at all stages.

When your child doesn't meet his expectations, don't hurry to compare with others. Give your child time and space to make progress with patience, and he will give you a satisfactory answer.

There is a saying widely circulated in the educational circles:

Every child is a seed, but everyone has a different flowering period. Some flowers bloom brightly at the beginning; Some flowers need a long wait.

Don't look at others in full bloom. Your own tree is in a hurry before it moves. I believe that flowers have their own flowering period. Take care of your own flowers and slowly watch them grow up. It's a kind of happiness to accompany him in the sun and rain. Trust your child and wait for the flowers to bloom.

Maybe your seed will never blossom, because it is a towering tree.

"Child psychology" once said that the core of the conflict between parents and children is never the problem itself, but the emotion behind the thing that is not seen.

So when we can't help losing our temper, we must understand what really bothers us, and then deal with and adjust it pertinently.

Only when we do not vent our anger or use our family as a tool to vent our emotions can we make our home a place of protection and recuperation full of love.

In fact, cultivating children is basically the parents' educational attitude and emotion. Parents with educational wisdom know how to influence and nurture their children through self-discipline and management.

Family is the mother's world, the father's Kingdom and the children's paradise. This is what a happy family should look like.